You're Obsessed with Twilight Fanfiction when
by The Dawn Is Breaking
Summary: The foolproof way to know that you don't have a life beyond both Twilight and the internet! From the creator of 'The Crappy Twilight Cliches Show'. Rated T because I'm paranoid. NOW COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1: 1 to 30

**Hey guys! Just to let you know, this is my second fanfic, so constructive criticism would be nicer than flames, although I don't mind either of them. Read and review please!**

You Know You're Obsessed with Twilight Fan Fic when…

1. You were expecting Mike Newton to somehow try to win Bella in Breaking Dawn.

2. You spend hours on end reading nothing but fanfics...

3. ...even the bad ones with overused cliches.

4. All Alice does is shop, shop and shop…

5. …even when it was only mentioned in one of the Outtakes on Stephenie Meyer's website.

6. You're convinced that vampires play truth or dare, make bets and prank each other in their spare time.

7. You read Jasper/Bella couples…

8. …and Bella/Emmett…

9. …basically anything involving Bella slash stories that does not involve Edward or Jacob.

10. You also read Edward/Alice…

11. ...and Edward/Rosalie…

12. …need I say more?

13. Somehow, Edward and Jacob managed to place aside their immense hatred for each other, and eloped, leaving poor Bella behind…

14. …they also had little vampire/werewolf hybrid babies, even when it is virtually impossible.

15. Charlie/Jacob fanfiction doesn't make you cringe anymore.

16. You now want a vampire kitty…

17. …even though Stephenie Meyer said that it was impossible to have a vampire animal when she was on the Germany tour.

18. You are in a constant state of confusion when trying to distinguish between the fan fiction and the actual books.

19. You didn't expect Edward to come back in New Moon until God knows when, thus technically Eclipse and Breaking Dawn would never exist.

20. You honestly thought that Bella joined the Volturi.

21. You also thought that Bella was changed by Victoria.

22. You wondered what would happen if the Cullens read the Twilight series…

23. …and watched the movie…

24. …and met Stephenie Meyer/Rob Pattinson (a.k.a Rpattz a.k.a Spunk Ransom a.k.a Bobby Dupea).

25. You refuse to believe that Emmett had several university degrees and that he is actually pretty intelligent.

26. You also refuse to believe that Rosalie wears anything but mini-skirts and skimpy tops.

27. You were halfway through Eclipse when suddenly you go "Where's Bella's long lost sister/brother/cousin/friend/etc."

28. You started using the words 'Flames', 'Lemons' and 'Fluff' in your everyday language, and everyone is confused by what you say.

29. You made an account on Fanfiction dedicated to reading and writing Twilight Fanfic only.

30. Your username has something to do with the Twilight books.

**Well, what do you think? Please give me suggestions and ideas for this story or 'The Crappy Twilight Cliches Show'. Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2: 31 to 60

**Okay, so considering the fact that I was more focused on 'The Crappy Twilight Cliches Show', this practically gathered virtual dust on it. So now I'm doing another chappie on this...hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: Are you seek of all these disclaimers? I think it's pretty damn obvious that I'm not Stephenie Meyer without the annoying message...**

31. Instead of being two, Claire is already seventeen and has hooked up with Quil.

32. Half of your files on the computer are schoolwork, and the rest are Twilight fanfics.

33. Okay, scrap the above point. The fanfics outnumbered the schoolwork 2:1.

34. You spend countless hours in front of the computer either reading or writing fanfiction.

35. You are either immune to crappy fanfic cliches or want them to BURN IN HELL!!

36. After three weeks of reading All Human fanfics only, you actually forgot that the Cullens were vampires.

37. You're convinced that all the Cullens ever do in class are pass notes to each other... (**Jasperwhitlockhale4ever)**

38. ...in which some random annoying human -cough- Mike -cough- Jessica -cough- Lauren are asked by the teacher to read the notes out loud...

39. All the Cullens spend their whole day talking to each other on MSN...

40. ...even if their rooms are next door to each other...

41. You've put the Twilight Fanfiction Archive on Favourites

42. It is actually your homepage...

43. You get pissed off about those "You're Obssessed With Twilight When..." lists when it goes like this – You were too busy to notice number 12...And you scrolled up to check...And you're laughing at your own stupidity...

44. To you, the only OOC characters are actually in the original books

45. Forget Voldemort, Harry Potter and his friends are fighting the new kids in Hogwarts – the hot, talented and sexy Cullens!!

46. A typical conversation between Sirius and Jacob goes like this – (Sirius) "My long-lost son! Finally, I am able to meet you after such a long time!" (Jacob) "Oh Father! I've missed you so much!" (Insert ten-minutes of sobbing and hugging that's gag-worthy)

47. You wonder at what would happen if Jacob - okay, fine - the whole La Push werewolf pack met Remus Lupin...

48. ...and the true Children of the Moon...

49. ...and you're actually planning to write a fanfic about it

50. The majority of your inbox messages are from Fanfiction

51. You have more friends on Fanfiction than in real life...

52. ...due to the fact that your lunchtimes are spent planning/writing out fanfiction

53. You do those copy and paste thingies on your profiles...

54. ...yes, over three-quarters of them have to do with Twilight

55. You're in trouble at school that your assignments and homework are not due on time...

56. ...hey, look on the bright side! At least there are more than 150 reviews on most of your stories

57. Bella gets pregnant. With Edward. And the baby isn't Nessie.

58. Bella gets pregnant. With Jacob.

59. Bella gets pregnant. With either Mike, Tyler, Eric, Jasper, Emmett, Carlisle, James, Laurent, the Volturi guys, the werewolves, I mean shape-shifters (Leah doesn't count), Mr Banner, Billy Black, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Voldemort, Dumbledore, some random rapist from California (no offence to you Californians, honestly), a cross-dresser from Las Vegas (no offence to you Las Vegas people), Osama Bin Laden...

60. It's that time of the month for Bella. And Edward is either sent to buy tampons/pads and gets all nervous about it, goes missing for the duration of the period, or holds his breath and hopes for the best.

**Loved it? Hated it? Please tell me for some ideas and constructive criticism!!**


	3. Chapter 3: 61 to 80

**After a week or so from disappearing from the Internet, I am back!! Two chappies of 'The Crappy Twilight Cliches Show' is up now, so check it out (if you don't mind randomness, lameness, Jacob dancing on the coffee table half-naked and the host a.k.a. me being force-fed capsicums by Esme)!!**

**Disclaimer: Me not Stephenie Meyer. Me owns Twilight not.**

61. You've read at least ten fanfics on the topic of 'the birds and the bees'

62. Angela is actually a witch…in Hogwarts…

63. …and Bella and Edward has been changed into an apple by her

64. Oh my Carlisle…Emmett actually likes Disney Princesses and other girly stuff…

65. …and Alice conveniently figured that out and used it as blackmail

66. You've spent hours on end, without any breaks for food, water and the bathroom, reading fanfics from the time you finished breakfast, to the time you finally sleep at two in the morning.

67. Okay, screw the above point. You don't even bother about breakfast, opting instead to snack on Pop-tarts while reading fanfics

68. Your parents are complaining that you need more exercise instead of "sitting in front of the computer and getting fat"…

69. …they are also complaining about how you have no social life, in which you indignantly reply that, due to the amount of reviews you have on most stories, you reply their comments, thus have lots of people to talk to

70. You read two or more fanfics at once

71. Your computer is opened right now, and the windows look something like this – fanfic, fanfic, your profile, someone else's profile (of copy and pasty things, of course), and two new stories/chapters on Word

72. Your parents don't even bother talking to you anymore – your language is a fusion of Twilight, English and Fanfiction talk.

73. You wonder what would happen if the Cullens met the gang in Maximum Ride…

74. …OMC!! THE CULLENS HAVE WINGS!!

75. OOC Edward is a gangster, refers to his sisters as his 'whores', his bros as 'pimps', and Bella as 'smoking hot baby'

76. That also goes for OOC Jasper…

77. …and OOC Emmett…

78. …and OOC Alice…

79. …and OOC Esme…

80. This is probably what's going on in your mind while reading fanfics – "Hmmm…what if Emmett did –insert something random-" or "What would Jacob do when –insert scene of Team Edward fangirl bashing him up-"

**Okay, I know that was a bit of a let down, but honestly I need ideas!! Ideas!! -Cough- Anyway...read and review!!**


	4. Chapter 4: 81 to 100

**Aloha! Thanks to you awesome readers and reviewers, I have the energy to wake up and make this list on my laptop in bed at seven in the morning -yawn-. And here I was, thinking finally I might get some shut-eye during the holidays...**

**Warning: Rated R for randomness. It contains mild language, adult themes, and lots of crap. Parental guidance is NOT recommended as TDIB would not like to pay for the reader's medical bills in a mental institute.**

**Disclaimer: Me? Stephenie Meyer?! I wish...**

81. If it weren't for Fanfiction, you never would have realised that Emmett actually likes singing along to Hannah Montana…

82. …and that Edward sings to Spongebob Squarepants

83. You wondered what would happen if Emmett met Hannah Montana…

84. …then again…maybe not… -shudder-

85. You see a bunch of lemons in a grocery store, and start giggling for five minutes straight…

86. …it also gave you inspiration for another fanfic that would be full of lemony goodness

87. You were caught writing your latest fanfic in class…

88. …it was a lemon…

89. …and the teacher was either blushing, pissed off, or had sent you to seek counselling

90. You're reading this list, and you're nodding and smiling at the majority of the points here…

91. …and you're going to use this as a checklist…

92. …and you're doing something from this list during the day, most likely point 85…

93. Now, every time there's a list, you read every single word and number of every single point to make sure to you don't fall for the 'number 84 was missing' or 'there were two "the" in the above point

94. Point 84 was missing…

95. …haha!! Did you honestly think I was going to do that after I complained about it in one of the previous chapters?!

96. When someone asks you what you're doing, you immediately reply: "Fanfiction"

97. You got your friends hooked on to Twilight fanfics, just like the actual novels…

98. …and no one outside of your friendship groups knows what you guys are talking about now because they mainly consists of this – "OMC!! I've got this random reviewer flaming me for one of my newer, lemony fanfics!" "Really?! Is it the one about OOC Edward and OOC Jacob having a…you know what? Because that is understandable!" "What?! You WROTE a lemon about Edward and Jacob going at it?! How could you?! Thank Carlisle for that flamer!! You despicable bitch!!"

99. You don't even know what the hell is going on in the outside world now...

100. ...although you do know that you got exactly 57 visitors on one of your fanfics in the space of one day, according to the new Reader Traffic thing

**Alas...another end...**

**If you have any ideas for this list, please review, as suggestions would be appreciated!! I'm currently trying to type up the next chapter of "The Crappy Twilight Cliches Show" at the speed of light, so this one might be neglected for now...**


	5. Chapter 5: 101 to 120

**Finally, after a couple of weeks of hibernation, I'M BACK!!! Yes, the exams are almost over, I've stuffed up the Geography and PDHPE, but I don't care because I hate them! –Cough- Anyway, due to my brain being used up by the exams, TeamVampire (Points 14, 15 and 17 with my ideas), twiLight-fan1207 (Points 10 and 12, with some elaborations from yours truly) and DangerXMagnet (Points 1-9) had come to the rescue by giving me most of the points that you shall see in this chappie! So now that's done, on with the list!!!**

**Disclaimer: **

**Me: Sorry, but my disclaimer has been dazzled by Edward Cullen, so it shall be unavailable an-**

**Edward: Don't lie, okay? Just say that you don't own the Series.**

**Me: -being dazzled- ...Huh...?**

**Edward: -rolls eyes- Nevermind...**

101. You stay up till 2:00am reading Fanfiction

102. You have created a whole new separate e-mail account, just for fan fiction,  
because you get so many e-mails about chapter updates etc

103. You want to kill Mike for raping Bella

104. You want to kill Mike for killing Bella

105. You want to kill Mike for stalking Bella

106. You want to kill Mike for tricking Edward and making him leave so he can get  
Bella

107. You want to kill Mike (who needs an excuse!)

108. You have found the new Stephenie Meyer

109. Your disclaimers make you cry

110. You were supposed to be "studying" for your Maths/English/Science/whatever exam that's tomorrow…

111. …yep, you're reading Fanfiction, you're screwed, but you don't care…

112. When you go to 'sleep' –cough- -cough-, you get your Ipod and enter Safari and read Twilight Fanfiction until ONE in the morning…

113. …that probably explained why you got shadows under your eyes every morning, and that you looked like a vampire

114. You spend your free time with friends (if you have any!) in discussions about the characters' actions in fanfics, and how you think that they would less OOC

115. You have a severe mental breakdown if you're kept from reading Fanfiction for more than one day

116. You have a severe mental breakdown if you're kept from reading Fanfiction for more than an hour

117. You repeatedly check your emails everyday, just to make sure you haven't missed anyone's chapter update

118. You've added 'Fanfiction' to your dictionary

119. You just added 'Fanfiction' to your dictionary

120. You have to check your Stats, Story and Profile Traffic Page every few minutes to check if you'd missed anything.

**So yeah, another ending…**

**I'll try to update during the weekend, most likely my other story as it is gathering as much dust as my Harry Potter books that had been untouched for at least a month. **

**More ideas would be appreciate, so click on that purple button and give me your suggestions!!! **


	6. Chapter 6: 121 to 140

**Hey everyone! Sorry for the long update, due to exams –gives teachers a death glare- and being too busy trying to update my other fanfic. So enough of this intro, and on with the list!**

**Disclaimer: **

**Dear Diary, **

**It's great to be Stephenie Meyer, I-**

_You are _not_ Stephenie Meyer, and both of us know._

**Edward, quit writing in my diary.**

_Only if you say that you are not the owner of the Twilight Series._

**Fine then! –Takes deep breath- I am not Stephenie Meyer, and I don't own this really hot, Greek god look-a-like guy who is writing in my journal, WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO BE PRIVATE!!! –Glares at Edward-**

_Okay, okay, I'll go away. Jesus…_

121. You knew about the Movie Fanatic coverage story on Twilight Fanfiction…

122. …you cried when your fanfic wasn't mentioned…

123. …you cried when your fanfic WAS mentioned…

124. You were busted by your teacher after you used your school computer to read a lemony Fanfiction

125. When you're depressed, you read the reviews on your stories to cheer you up…

126. …when you read a flame, you go into a mental breakdown

127. Your friends learnt not to say the word 'lemon' in front of you

128. Your parents learnt not to say the word 'lemon' in front of you

129. You somehow manage to turn the conversation back to Twilight Fanfiction from any topic…

130. …even if it's about Nelson Mandela, logarithms or watermelon…

131. You barely go out anymore, preferring to just sit in front of the computer and read the latest fanfic from your favourite author

132. If you aren't on Fanfiction, you are on other Twilight sites or chatrooms telling them to check out your latest fanfic **(ThisIsMyDisguise)**

133. You are constantly in trouble by your teachers for not having your homework due on time

134. You are constantly in trouble by your teachers for not having your homework due _at all_

135. You sometimes wish that you could kidnap a really smart person so that they could do your homework while you go on Fanfiction

136. You write one-shots for any writing challenge when you are bored…

137. …even if you've already done it before

138. You were watching the US Election/the stock market/Prince Charles' 60th birthday, and it actually gave you inspiration for your fanfics

139. Now, you're thinking of writing a fanfic about Sarah Palin meeting the Denali Coven, Alice and the Global Credit Crunch or Carlisle and Prince Charles having a wife swap (haha, lol…)

140. You're kinda sick to death of all those fanfics with Edward watching the 40-year-old Virgin (no offence to those who wrote those stories…)

**Yeah, I am obviously running out of ideas, and desperately need new ones. So the only way I could continue this story is for you to give me some…**

**Once again, thanks for reading this (particularly lame) list!**


	7. Chapter 7: 141 to 160

**Hiya all! Sorry for the really long delay with this list...but rest assured that the Summer holz is in less than a week, so I'll try to update this story, along with my other one, asap. Also, special thanks to ThisIsMyDisguise for these ideas!**

**Disclaimer: If I own the Twilight Series…THEN I WOULD HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD WITH MY NINJA VAMPIRE CHIHUAHUAS!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! –Cough- But I'm don't…-sigh-**

141. You've made an account on Fanfiction, FictionPress, and other Twilight Fanfiction sites to post your different fanfics

142. You've made an account on Fanfiction, FictionPress, and other Twilight Fanfiction sites to post the same fanfics and to get more reviews

143. You honestly thought that one of the characters you've created on Fanfiction actually did appear in one of the books

144. You read poorly written fanfiction just to cheer yourself up

145. You honestly thought that Edward was running for President

146. You go onto people's profiles just to vote in their polls and to see what other stories they had written

147. You go onto people's profiles just to see your name on the copy and paste thingies…

148. …you squee when you see your name at least once

149. You truly believe that Fanfiction is your anti-drug…

150. …okay, scrap that. You truly believe that Fanfiction is your drug

151. Your parents now punish you by not letting you go on Fanfiction…

152. …or by making you read really crap ones with no plot, Mary Sues, and chatspeak

153. As an excuse, you call going on Fanfiction "Doing a supplement course for English"

154. As an excuse for not doing homework, you were "finishing the story that you had to read for English last night"

155. Dreaming about Bella and Edward's honeymoon (plus the details) doesn't make you cringe anymore

156. You wake up at six o'clock in the morning just to write fanfics

157. You bring a notepad and pen around when you get a really good idea for your fanfics

158. You are now considering a career in writing fantasy/romance/comedy/etc novels

159. You reply to every single reviewer when you have nothing to do…

160. …even those that said "Lol, that was HILARIOUS!!!"

**Yeah, obviously I need more ideas (and preferably those that mention BOTH Twilight and Fanfiction…yes, I'm really picky but I don't want to disappoint anyone)**

**So…hit or miss?**


	8. Chapter 8: 161 to 180

**Hi there!!! To make up for the long delay of my other story, I've written this chappie during Commerce (we were watching Judge Judy…do you know how boring that show is?!), so yeah…Thanks to jenncrazyy909 (Point 162) and xparawhorextwerdx (Points 164-6 with some elaborations) for giving me ideas! You guys rock!!!**

**Oh, and if you're wondering, since I'm in the early Christmas spirit, the last five points are all Xmas related! Enjoy!!!**

**Disclaimer: Dude, be reasonable. Am I Stephenie Meyer? Noooooooo. Do I look like Stephenie Meyer? Noooooooo. Do I own the Twilight Series? Nooooooooooo. So yeah…**

161. You and your friends re-enact the crazy Twilight fan girls in your favourite Fanfic

162. Your friends call you albino because the computer screen bleached your skin…

163. …you take it as a compliment, as you think that now you look closer to a vampire

164. You bought your mobile simply because it had the Internet

165. You are reviewing stories at half past one in the morning

166. Your friends are fed up of hearing that you got however many reviews

167. Your friends are fed up of hearing that you posted up a new Twilight lemony fanfic

168. Your friends are fed up of hearing you say anything Twilight Fanfiction related full stop

169. You thought of starting up a Twilight Fanfiction club at school

170. You actually _started _a Twilight Fanfiction club at school…

171. …with you as the President

172. At Book Club, when it was your turn to recommend a good read, you immediately reply "there's this really, really well-written Twilight story on Fanfiction…"

173. …it turns out to be your own

174. In your fanfiction, Edward is your boyfriend, Alice is your best friend, Emmett is the brother you wish you have…

175. …and Jacob is around when you're cold

176. Christmas isn't Christmas without reading a couple of Christmas-sy fanfics, involving Alice going over the top with decorations, Emmett getting drunk on eggnog, Bella refusing any presents, Edward shielding Bella from a falling four-metre (12 foot) heavily decorated tree, Rosalie wearing a Christmas suit worthy of a porn magazine, and Jasper is just there leaning on the stairs looking bored, as usual

177. You always wondered how the little kiddies would react if Edward/Emmett/Jasper/other hot Twilight guy dressed up as Santa Claus

178. You always wondered how the mothers would react if Edward/Emmett/Jasper/other hot Twilight guy dressed up as Santa Claus

179. In getting into the Christmas spirit, you wrote some songfics on popular Christmas carols with Twilight-related lyrics…

180. …you actually performed those Twilight carols to random strangers at church, on the streets, knocking on their doors, etc

**Hehe, yeah…**

**If you're wondering why I'm in the Christmas spirit, it's because the night before writing this out, I was in the Choir singing Christmas carols, and it's pretty obvious that I'm still on a high while writing this…yeah, I'm weird…**

**So…liked it or not? **


	9. Chapter 9: 181 to 200

**Hi again! Well, like I'd said, I am trying to update ASAP these holidays, so here it is! -Whew-**

**Anyway, THE TWILIGHT MOVIE IS ALMOST OUT IN AUSTRALIA!!! WOOOHOO!!!**

**Disclaimer: So I don't own the Twilight Series. Is that anything new?**

181. You have OTFD (Obsessive Twilight Fanfiction Disorder), which could be broken down to either LCFS (Love Cullen Fanfiction Syndrome), Werewolf-Fanfictionitus, SSD (Swiss Story Disorder) or Mike-Is-Going-To-Be-Screwed-nomia…

182. …you could still have Anti-Crappy-Twilight-Cliched-Syndrome as well

183. You don't go through one day without saying something you got off fanfiction…

184. …it has usually got to do with your (lack of) sanity

185. You actually printed out your favourite fanfics, laminated them, and hanged them in the shower, put them near the toilet, etc so you can read them wherever you are in the house

186. Your parents are considering sending you to see a psychiatrist due to your inaudible mutterings about Bella/Jasper pairings, Mary-Sue clichés, and anything else that has got to do with Twilight Fanfiction

187. Your parents are considering sending you to see a psychiatrist due to your conversations with random Twilight characters…

188. …you plan to record these conversations and post it on Fanfiction

189. At least one of your reviewers is fighting you for your story…

190. …it started involving characters not only in Twilight, but Harry Potter, the Wizard of Oz, Pirates of the Caribbean, etc **(Yeah that's right, TheImmortalKlutz. I'm talking about YOOOOU…)**

191. Your parents/friends/etc don't even bother asking you what you're thinking right now, as it would most likely involve Edward Cullen buying tampons, Emmett giving Mike a wet willie, Jacob trying to surf in La Push, and Bella blushing after Jessica kept pestering her about her "first time" –wink-

192. You have a party every time you get a hundred more reviews for your stories

193. You usually multi-task every night between Twilight Fanfiction and homework…

194. …somehow, you never actually get work done…

195. You refuse to read/write any other fanfiction besides Twilight

196. You honestly thought that Jacob and Leah are meant to be

197. You write fanfiction that is based on real life…

198. …complete with setting, characters and events

199. You got this random thought about Emmett asking Bella if she wanted a frozen banana, in which Bella said yes and Emmett pulled down Edward's pants (complete with undies) **(color-guard girl)**

200. You hardly ever _read_ fanfiction anymore due to the growing number of reviewers threatening you with pitchforks and machetes if you don't update soon

**Yes, as you can see, I need more ideas! Please?! I'm desperate! -Cough- Anyway...**

**So...good or bad?**


	10. Chapter 10: 201 to 220

**Okay, just a few minutes ago, I posted up the new chappie for my other story. This is what I mean by an updating frenzy. Think of it as me making up for the almost lack of updates in the past few months.**

**Also, special thanks to Naomi Cullen for Points 201 and 202, and xparawhorextwerdx for Points 206 to 212. You guys are the greatest asset to anyone who is short of ideas. You rock!**

**Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer, so don't ask me for an autograph. Or Twilight Merchandise. Or Edward Cullen.**

201. You dream every night about Jake imprinting on you and asking to marry you...

202. …but you said no, because Edward has proposed too.

203. To you, seeing your story recommended on someone else's profile is like peeing in your pants – everyone can see it, but only you alone could feel the warmth tingling feeling.

204. As soon as you see a computer, you immediately run up to it, type in whatever you can on the new chappie of your fanfic…

205. …and just before the end, you either a) email it to your computer, b) print the copy out, c) save it onto your memory stick or d) try to finish it off and post it on Fanfiction

206. You have no more real life friends. All your friends are from Fanfiction

207. You've considered making a shirt saying 'Team Edward/Jasper/Emmett/James/Jacob/whatever because of a fanfic that you have read

208. You read and write your fanfic wherever you go

209. You've got more than a hundred incomplete stories on your fanfic lists…

210. …and about two hundred completed ones

211. Your day goes something like this – wake up, fanfic reading, school, fanfic reading, homework, fanfic reading, (pretending to) sleep while reading fanfics

212. You sleep for around about three hours a night because you read too late into the night

213. You got a lot of incomplete stories in your documents folder that hasn't been touched since three months ago

214. You were campaigning hard for the school to unblock on all its computers during school hours…

215. …you went into a mental breakdown when they refused

216. Edward/Bella lemons are the perfect bedtime story…

217. …or Jacob/(insert your name) ones

218. You don't actually read Author's Notes on other people's fanfics, but you still make yours long

219. You actually do read Author's Notes to pass the time

220. Your friends think you are constantly in La-La Land, but in reality you're thinking of potential plots for you new fanfic.

**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE!!! (If you read the one on "The Crappy Twilight Clichés Show", well, it's the exact same thing, so skip it)**

**I need a registered beta reader for my fanfic "OMC!!! The Principal is a Vampire!!!" Here's the rough summary of the story (it is on my profile as well) – **

Tash, Mannat, Alice, Steph and Nancy are five girls in a Sydney uni-sex private school that has just recently acquired a new principal. But factor in the vampire-look-a-like, a Twilight obsession and sugar, and you'll have a recipe for disaster.

**I need someone who is well-versed in Twilight Fanfiction, especially in Humour and/or Friendship stories. The reason I need a beta for this one is because the structure would be totally different from my other ones (in other words, it has actual paragraphs instead of it being like a script), and I want to see if I got the spelling and grammar right (especially tense. I suck at tense ever since the age of seven). I also want to see if my writing can improve, so it would be preferable if someone could give me some constructive criticism in the chappie. It would be great if it is edited in a relatively short time (at the most, two days), as the holidays are ticking away, and I would like at least five chappies done and posted by the end of January next year. If you're interested, review this story or my other one, or PM me. Thanks!**

**Well…hit or miss?**


	11. Chapter 11: 221 to 240

**Hi again! Yeah, special thanks to ****xparawhorextwerdx (Points 221-226) and Hayley-Rosalie-Cullen (Points 227-229) for giving me these ideas! Seriously, I'm running out of ideas…**

**Disclaimer: **

**Me: -ponders- Do you think reverse psychology would be good?**

**Random reader: Not really…people might take it too seriously…**

**Me: -huffs- Fine…I am not Stephenie Meyer…**

221. Your locker in school is full of copies that have half written stories on them

222. One of your ideal guys/girls is a character in a fanfic or an author

223. You wrote your Romeo and Juliet essay on Bella and Edward, and posted it on Fanfiction

224. Your teachers know that when you're upset in school, you got a flame

225. You understand the terms AU, AH, OOC, lemon, BxE, JxA, RxEm, CxE and JacxRen

226. You won't read anything that says JacxRen, because to you, that never happened

227. Because of the amount of fanfics you've read, you can't decide which Cullen boy you like more – Edward, Emmett or Jasper

228. You also can't decide on which werewolf is hotter because of the fics you read

229. You believe in half vampires/werewolves

230. You punched a person at school because they either said a) Fanfiction sucks, b) your fanfiction sucks, c) –insert random pairing that you hate- is hot, d) something about Edward and Jacob being locked in a closet for hot gay sex, or e) posted a flame on your story…

231. …that person went to hospital, you were about to be suspended, but your parents was like "That's not punishment! Reading/writing Twilight fanfics for three days is not punishment!"…

232. …in the end, your parents hacked into your account and refused to tell you the new password for three days.

233. You blame your falling Maths, Science, etc marks for you spending more time doing something English related…

234. …for some very odd reason, your English is getting worse as well, but that's probably because, instead of writing Twilight related essays, you have to write shit about Shakespeare

235. You are petitioning for the school syllabus to include Twilight Fanfiction as an important topic in English…

236. …The reason? Everyone needs to be informed of the Twilight boys' hotness, fanfiction is something in real life that everyone would need to know if they want to function, and to prevent the surge of preferences to Mary Sues and unoriginal plots

237. You're writing parodies about Mary Sues and crappy storylines

238. You've started dreaming about random fanfics that you had read, starring you as the central character

239. If you have to bring one thing on a desert island besides the bare necessities of survival, you would have a laptop with Internet access…

240. …so who cares if you don't get off the island? I mean, you get to read Twilight fanfiction, day in, day out!

**Um…evidently, I am running out of points…**

**(That's your cue to hit the review button and give me more ideas)**

**The Dawn Is Breaking**


	12. Chapter 12: 241 to 260

**Yo! Special thanks (again!) to TheVampireWithTheGoldenEyes (Points 241-244) and Live in Dreams (Points 245-250). You guys rock!!!**

**Disclaimer: Sorry to disappoint you Twilighters, but I ain't the Ultimate Goddess Stephenie Meyer, nor am I the author of the Holy Bibles Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. –Kneels- I AM NOT WORTHY!!! –Bows and worships at the Twilight Movie poster on the back of the bedroom door-**

241. People have stopped thinking you are random. They now know that all the insane things you talk about are somehow based on Twilight Fanfiction

242. You have been known to stop in the middle of what you were doing and run towards the nearest computer and type up your fanfic

243. You require five reviews everyday before school…

244. …your parents had pretty much given up on you

245. You can't look at lemons the same way again

246. Every song you listen to has to relate to Twilight or Twilight Fanfiction in some way, and if it doesn't, you either hate the song or write a fanfic on it

247. You're planning to go on Fanfiction and give out reviews on special occasions…

248. …you also plan to update on those occasions

249. Because of Fanfiction, you wonder if Edward is really paranoid

250. You got all your friends hooked on everything Twilight…

251. …even your Twilight fanfic on Edward and Jacob making hybrid babies

252. Whenever you're parents ban you from Fanfiction, you take out your notebook and pen and write the story…

253. …when they take that away, you use those Alphabet pasta, a large piece of paper and glue, and try to paste out your fanfic.

254. Seriously, we as having OTFD (Obsessive Twilight Fanfiction Disorder) should get compensation (or at least, paid on a regular basis) for sitting around all day doing nothing but read about some fluffy imprint story with Seth and a whore.

255. Not only were you responsible for the Twilight obsession in your school, but you also took the blame for half your class being on during English…

256. …the English teacher was not impressed with your excuses ("Miss, it helps improve my fiction writing for my yearly exams. Just pretend that the Twilight Series are a stimulus…")

257. How many "30 ways to Annoy Edward/Jacob/James/whatever" have you read now?

258. How many "20 signs that you are obsessed with Twilight" lists have you seen?

259. …And no, this is not the list mentioned in Point 18

260. Twilight Fanfiction has made you get over your Harry Potter Fanfiction addiction

**Yeah, the last points were a bit lame (I was too distracted laughing my head off while listening to Weird Al Yankovic's 'Constipated'…hehe…), so please forgive me.**

**Yes, more suggestions will be appreciated, so press that little green button! Please? **


	13. Chapter 13: 261 to 280

**Hey (for the third time today)! Um, I'm currently in an updating frenzy, so if you're all overwhelmed with the updates, well…I don't know what to do, so don't ask me. Special thanks to Live in Dreams (Points 263 to 266) and TheVampireWithTheGoldenEyes (Points 267)!!! Woooh!!!**

**Disclaimer: (This disclaimer has walked away after being tired of appearing in 50 individual chapters and saying the same thing each time.)**

261. You had this childish dream that one day, a movie will be based on one of your fanfics…

262. …except that you'll be in charge of the casting, the script and the special effects

263. You actually read this and laugh at almost every single point

264. You help the author by telling him/her how you are addicted (thanks to everyone who did that!!!)

265. You don't need to move to find a copy of Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse/Breaking Dawn or pen and paper in your room

266. Instead of being grounded, your parents punish you by making you go out (in other words, prevent you from being anywhere near a computer with Internet access or a word processor)

267. Your social life revolves around people you met

268. You always forgot what you had for homework, but you never fail to forget what you wrote for a review

269. You are taking a stand against crappy Twilight clichés, one story at a time

270. You wrote a song parody based on your love for Twilight

271. You wrote a song parody based on your love for Twilight FANFICTION

272. You were bored one day, so you updated every single story in that mere space of 10 hours

273. You actually gained weight from sitting in front of the computer all day

274. You actually have your lunch while reading/writing fanfics

275. You experiment with random pairings besides the canon ones (eg. Jasper/Rosalie, Emmett/Esme, Jacob/Jessica)…

276. …and write lemons about them…(Ewww…)

277. You can't even write lemons in real life without bursting into a laughing fit

278. That's what happened during your English exam, when the stimulus material for creative writing turns out to be a picture of a lemon…

279. …and you wrote an actual lemon between Edward and Bella, complete with the minor details…

280. …and you didn't get very well in the creative writing part, you were disqualified OR they made you do the writing again

**Yes, I'm running out of ideas, and no, I can't really think of anymore…**

**Ideas will be appreciated, so send them in!!!**


	14. Chapter 14: 281 to 300

**Hiya again! Yep, since it's the New Year for you guys, I've decided to update this story after…well…I dunno how long, but it has been a long time…Well, enjoy, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!**

**Special thanks to those people who gave me some of the ideas!!! You guys are AWESOME!!!**

**Disclaimer: I'm don't own the Twilight Series. I'm not worthy enough!!!**

281. You saw Point 275 in the previous chapter. You now want to write a Jacob/Jessica lemon **(Naomi Cullen)**

282. You read one where a normal person falls into the world of Twilight…

283. …and you had a dream that night that _you_ were the person who fell into the Twilight world **(twilite addict)**

284. Every time you get a review, you squeal **(Live in Dreams)**

285. For Christmas, you asked to get more pencils/paper… **(SparklingTopazEyes)**

286. …or a working laptop with wireless Internet…

287. …or to be Stephenie Meyer… **(SparklingTopazEyes)**

288. …or more time to update stories…

289. …or more reviews

290. On your New Year's Resolutions, you put down "Get more work done for school and spend less time on Twilight Fanfiction"…

291. …you kinda have a hunch that that's not really going to work, as you made the same resolution last year…

292. …and the year before…

293. …actually, you're going to make a more realistic one – "Don't write lemons about Edward and Jacob being locked in a cupboard and having hot gay sex"

294. You're going to welcome in the New Year by updating most of your stories

295. You imagine scenarios when you annoy a Twilight character after reading one of those "10 Ways to Annoy the Twilight Characters"

296. Who needs MySpace and FaceBook when you could have Twilight Fanfiction?!

297. You rather cut back on school work than on Twilight Fanfiction

298. In order for your real life friends to do your bidding, you threaten them with a really clichéd story with Mary-Sues and random imprints…

299. …or really detailed lemony slashfics…

300. …basically anything that has got to do with Twilight Fanfiction.

**Okay, considering the fact that I'm pretty much running out of ideas...I'm actually considering ending this story as well...**

**(I could just picture everyone going "YOU'RE ENDING "THE CRAPPY TWILIGHT CLICHES SHOW", AND NOW YOU'RE ENDING _THIS _ONE AS WELL?! WHY?! _WHY_?!!!" -Runs around spasticallly-)**

**Well, you got to admit, it has to end soon, and I want to dedicate my energies on Fanfiction writing my two new fanfics - Plotline Parodies and OMC!!! The Principal is a Vampire!!!**

**I don't know when I'll end it, but it will be soon...**

**Well...good or bad?**


	15. Chapter 15: 301 to 320

**Hey guys!!! Yeah, it's a long time since I updated this, so I just decided to write up a few more points. Special thanks to TheVampireWithTheGoldenEyes (Points 301 to 303) and colorguard-girl for Points 304 to 305. You guys are awesome!!!**

**And yes, I got Points 310-312 from LolliliciousLolly's video 'James the Predophile'. Man, it's funny!**

**Disclaimer: Non sono Stephenie Meyer. (If you're wondering, it's Italian for 'I'm not Stephenie Meyer…)**

301. You write fanfictions based on Twilight-related dreams you have…

302. …even if they are really REALLY weird

303. You write fanfictions where you are in the story marrying your Twilight love

304. You stay up until 3am reading Twilight fanfics, only to get 4 hours of sleep…

305. …and then go back on reading those fanfics as soon as you wake up

306. You rehearse what you would say when someone interviews you about your Twilight Fanfiction

307. You use various 'You're Obsessed with Twilight' fanfics as your checklist to increase your obsession

308. You convinced your boyfriend to read Twilight Fanfiction…

309. …after you convinced him to read all the books

310. You wrote a fanfic after watching various Twilight-related videos on YouTube…

311. …which involved James crushing on Edward…

312. …and Edward crushing on Buffy the Vampire Slayer

313. You tried to curb your obsession with Twilight Fanfiction by reading other fanfics (Harry Potter, The Host, Anime, etc), but it's just not the same

314. When you're bored of reading really crap, clichéd stories, you just go and review every chappie of every story you've ever read…

315. …mainly, you just write 'LOL!!! HILARIOUS!!!'…

316. …even if it's a tragedy and Edward just died

317. You've read at least twenty 'Truth and Dare' fanfics…

318. …and thirty 'IM Messaging'…

319. …and fifteen 'Note Passing'…

320. …and twenty-five different Twilight Parodies

**I'm thinking that the next chappie will be the end of this story. But the good thing is, I'm going to make THIRTY points instead of twenty, so that it'll end at a nice round number of 350. Ideas will be appreciated for the next chappie, so bring them in NOW!!! -Coughs- Or, not...**

**Thank you!!!**


	16. Chapter 16: 321 to 350

**Hello Twilighters!!! Yep, this is the last chappie of this story, so thanks a lot to everyone who read, review and/or gave me ideas for this!!! I worship your awesomeness, so offering you this chappie is the least I could do!**

**HUGE thanks especially to EclipsingHarmony for Points 321-340! Honestly, I would not be able to come up with THAT many points now. Also special thanks to Chaolinchao (Points 341-343), Live in Dreams (Points 344-346), SparklingTopazEyes for Point 348, and for IamNotStalkingEmmett for the very last Point of this list, which I think is very fitting. ARIGATO!!!**

**Disclaimer: **

**Me: Ich besitze nicht die Harry Potter Reihe (German for 'I do not own the Harry Potter Series)**

**Edward: -rolls eyes- You're supposed to say Twilight Series, not Harry Potter…**

**Me: -curses- ****Scheiße! (Shit!) FINE THEN!!! –Takes a deep breath- No poseo la Twilight serie… (Spanish for 'I do not own the Twilight Series) -Sigh-…**

321. When you almost killed a sibling of yours when they tried to get on the computer while you're reading a Twilight fanfic…

322. …or when they read it out to your parents…

323. …and it was a lemon…

324. …or when you got them hooked onto Twilight AND Twilight Fanfiction

325. You've multi-tasked watching the Twilight movie trailer AND writing/reading fanfiction too

326. You've made a DeviantArt account to publish your Twilight fanfictions…

327. …and made fan art of your fanfic characters

328. You've made a music playlist devoted towards reading/writing Twilight Fanfictions

329. The song 'Decode' inspires you to write more fanfics…

330. …okay, okay, the whole Twilight Movie soundtrack does…

331. …on the same note, you listen to the soundtrack/music score when you're reading/writing Twilight Fanfiction

332. You gain inspiration for your Twilight fics through any songs…

333. …even lemons

334. You've tried to google your Fanfiction username…

335. …and your Twilight fanfics

336. You tried to announce to the whole school that they should read your Twilight fanfics…

337. …you did the same thing, but over the radio…

338. …and the TV…

339. …and YouTube…

340. …even when one of the cast of the Twilight movie comes to your city, you use the opportunity to run up on stage to announce your latest update on Edward and Bella's relationship in Chicago University.

341. Your friends know everything minor detail about every Twilight Fanfiction you had read…

342. …even though she never even seen them before

343. Half of your phone calls involve you reading/writing/laughing at Twilight Fanfictions, and your friend just doing whatever the hell he/she is doing.

344. You're too busy reading/reviewing Twilight Fanfiction that you forgot to update your own.

345. During the many times you've seen Twilight, you wrote down ideas for a new fic or an existing fic…

346. …then decided what bits would be good for the story

347. You actually made a shirt dedicated to a Twilight fanfiction/author, and it's coloured black and red

348. You go to a tattoo parlour to get the name of your favourite Twilight fanfiction/author tattooed on your arm/leg/whatever.

349. You act out your favourite Twilight fanfictions to see if they occur in real life

**AND THE LAST ONE…**

350. You plan on coming to the author's house with an angry mob because they are ending your favourite story/list :)

**Yep, this is the last chapter, so I will not be accepting anymore ideas from now on in. Also, here's some stats on this story – **

**Hits – 3 229**

**Alerts – 22**

**Favourites – 24**

**Reviews up to Chapter 15 – 100!!! Woooh!!!**

**Thanks a lot once again for all your support! I can never get this many points without you guys!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!**


End file.
